Today is the 5th anniversary of delivering my son stillborn. It's hard to believe, but I almost forgot. I was driving home late tonight before I even remembered. At first, I felt guilty, but the more I think about it, I say it's a good thing. Today was just another day -- a good one, at that. I didn't spend it in bed, wallowing in self-pity. I just lived my life. Truthfully, it's a relief. It takes so much energy staying sad. I will never forget, but I am moving on.
Tomorrow, we'll continue our annual tradition and go to the cemetary. We'll release a blue balloon for Jack, a pink one for Anna, a white one for my last miscarriage, and Katie will take home a purple one to remind her how special she is to us. I'm choosing right now; I'm going to make tomorrow a good day, too.
So, sweet Baby Boy. I want you to know that I will always love you...and I'll be just fine.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
For Jack
Posted by Jude at 12:15 AM
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5 comments:
Jude, you are an inspiration and I love you and look up to you so much!!
wow...just like you commented on my blog, I will never forget that day. You've come so far and I'm proud of you. Love you guys!
You are awesome and courageous. Thanks for not giving up. I wish you were going swimming tomorrow!
That's such a beautiful tradition.. I'm sure he appreciates his mommy doing such a wonderful thing for him...and Anna. Wow, you have had some trials, don't know how you do it.
I can't believe it has been 5 years already. I still remember April calling me and telling me about your sweet baby. I just kept thinking i could NEVER go through that! Little did I know what the future held for me. Who would have thought I would have gone through the SAME thing one year later!!
I KNOW Spencer is friends with your children in heaven. I know that without a doubt.
You are an amazing woman! I need to do more things on Spencers birthday, maybe this year we too should release balloons at his gravesite!! What a great idea.
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