Happy Halloween!

We're back! Oh, I have SO much to share about our NYC trip, but I'll take care of that this weekend. Today, I want to focus on the Best. Holiday. Ever.... HALLOWEEN! Last Saturday, we had a huge family Halloween party in our backyard. I have wanted ot do this ever since we've moved here and since my yard is already very creepy, it worked out just perfect. I want to make it bigger and better each year and invite more people, but since I was CRAZY to try and pull this together with both my parents being in/out of the hospital, doing the yard clean-up and right before our trip, I think what we were able to do turned out pretty cool.

Sorry for calling you out, John, but you get an "F" in picture taking. He had the camera and even though we had some cool decorations (like a mummy in the graveyard where the old scary a-- tub was) and we even used our skull, he only took pictures of people. Which is fine, but he didn't even get everyone. So, here are a few he took...


My cousin Amy's pig costume - won most Creative Costume


My bro-in-law & sis-in-law, Chad & Emily, as an elder and sister missionary


My brother, Jimmy, as Craig the Cheerleader from SNL (Will Ferrell). Not pictured is his wife, Libby, as Sponge Bob Square Pants. The best part about Jimmy's costume was some of the little girls voted for him as most creative and thought he was Troy Bolton from High School Musical!


My bro-in-law, Doug, who's costume won Funniest. He came dressed as John as a teenager when he'd take a thing of cardboard and go down to Hillside Plaza to breakdance for money. Wow, that story just makes me so proud.

My nephew, James, tied with Katie for Cutest Costume, but I'll see him tonight and post a picture of him later. It is adorable. And Jennie, Steve and Mitchell won Best Group dressed as a Star Wars trio... I'll take a pic of them tonight and post it as well.

Until then, have a SPOOKTACULAR DAY!

Jude's Thursday Dish

I'm BACK! Woo hoo! I know all 3 of you missed me! Well, I am revved and ready for some pop culture scoop, so let's go!


1. Can I just tell you how much I have LOVED all this Sarah Palin/Tina Fey stuff. Since I'm already a HUGE SNL fan (seriously, I have pretty much watched every episode, minus mission years, since I was 18 -- even when it sucks, I still watch), this just makes it even better. I was a little disappointed in Palin's appearance on Saturday. Not her doing at all, she's got tons of charisma. I just thought the writing was weak. In the opening sketch, I really wanted more screen time between Palin/Fey or I wanted Palin to dress up as Fey and mock her. But, I was reading an article in EW from Lorne Michaels. He said that he felt like any dialogue would be a letdown. I don't agree, but hey... he's the expert. Tina Fey has said that if Sarah Palin wins, she's going to retire the impression. She says there is no way she can keep it up for 4 years. Well that, and probably because she's extremely busy with 30 Rock, making movies and that new multi-million dollar book deal. I just hope she doesn't have the Tina Fey backlash we've been hearing about. I will always Yyou, Tina!

2. Okay, my new guilty pleasure is definitely "Gossip Girl." I am LOVING this show. It's smarmy and definitely not for teenagers (even though it's about them). I am having this weird shame-crush (a crush you have, but feel embarrased about) on Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick). He's not attractive at all and his character is a despicable woman-womanizer, but I can't help it. At least he's really British, which makes some sense why I'm drawn to him due to my obsession with British men. Anyway, if you're up for some guilty fun, check it out on Monday nights on the CW. I think it's on at 7 p.m., but I'm not sure because I always TIVO it and watch it late.


3. This rant may seem a little late coming, but things I am SO sick of seeing in my search for great dish. The stupid cast of The Hills (but real celebrities must love them since they take all the papz with them!). These dumb DJ AM and Joel Madden and other loser boyfriends of celebs that aren't famous at all and are very scuzzy. Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend. Celebrity moms bragging about how fast they lose their baby weight - hello! It's your job, so of course you're going to spend all your time committing to your body. What about the rest of us in the real world? All things Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes -- gag. I'm sure I could think of more, but these are the things that are really bugging me today.



4. So, Madonna and Guy are over. Big surprise. The thing I find interesting is all these entertainment shows that are showing all of Madonna's past loves. And the funny thing is I remember all of them. Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, Michael Jackson(!), Dennis Rodman, Lordes' dad, JFK Jr. and the list goes on. Ew, and now A-Rod? But obviously, Madonna has got to be a total B to live with. Can you imagine? "The Immaculate Collection" will always be one of my favorite CDs, but we all know Madonna is the devil. Maybe Guy can go find someone more loveable and finally make a movie I want to see. He's working on "Sherlock Holmes" with my adorable Robert Downey Jr. Let's hope he doesn't make that one suck much.

5. Cloris Leachman is great, but puh-leez... put us (I mean her) out of her misery!!!!

That's it for this week! Next week I'll have to do my dish on the weekend, because we'll be in NEW YORK!!! Maybe I'll see a celeb. But if I see Tom Cruise, thanks to Katie's show, I'll throw my shoe at him. Well, I will see movie/tv locations, because we're doing that bus tour. CAN'T WAIT!

For Anna

I realized tonight when I was having dinner with friends that today was the 4th anniversary of delivering my daughter, Anna, stillborn. Like what happened with Jack, I went almost a whole day without remembering. I think it's two things. First, it's been several years and the pain is lessening, thank heaven. And second, losing Anna took a lot longer than a day, so I can't really pinpoint the loss to October 22nd.

I was working with a new OBGYN and had an early ultrasound at about 17 weeks. Initially, the tech thought everything looked okay. The plan was that I'd be just fine to go on a weeklong trip with John to London and Scotland. When I got home, the OBGYN called me and said he'd been trying to reach me all week. He said my cervix was effacing and I needed to go see a high risk doctor right away. He was especially concerned I had been walking like crazy in Europe. It was a Thursday and Friday was my sister's wedding. The high risk doc couldn't see me until Monday, so they recommended I take it easy for the weekend.

At Jennie's reception, I got really sick. I wasn't sure if it was some food I ate or something else. I started throwing up really bad and we went to the hospital. Unfortunately, I was only 23 weeks pregnant, so they wouldn't let me be seen at the Women's Center and I had to go to the E/R. I remember being there in our fancy wedding duds and later, Jimmy and Libby showing up to see us in the same. It was kind of comical. The E/R called my doctor and he didn't want them checking me, so they gave me some medicine and I was sent home for a weekend of bed rest.

On Monday, all hell broke loose. I went to MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) and had a follow-up ultrasound. I was even more effaced and they promptly hospitalized me. I had an emergency cerclage, which I remember that epidural was really painful. Then, I had to stay laying down head down, feet up. It was so uncomfortable. This went on and the plan was I would probably stay hospitalized for 2 more months, then I could go home and if I delivered prematurely, it would be alright since the baby had more chance of survival.

Unfortunately, only after 4 days of bedrest, my water broke. This is when we were faced with a terrible decision. Dr. Esplin said we could try and keep me pregnant, but since I was already dealing with an infection, I would be at more risk for my own health. And since I was only 3 days shy of 24 weeks, they would not doing any life saving treatments for the baby. Esplin told me that the baby probably wouldn't survive anyway, and if she did, she would go through life with terrible complications. We were really torn. I talked to my Uncle Gerry who's an OBGYN and he really helped me. He said something I'll never forget, "No miracle is to be had here." It helped me realize that this was meant to be, and we gave the doctor the go ahead to induce me.

Anna was alive and well, but she didn't survive the birth. I'm actually so grateful, because I don't think I could've sat by and watch her die, knowing I could've made the decision to stay pregnant and try to save her. For a long time, I was tortured by things I could've done differently, like not going on the trip or starting bedrest earlier. It took a long time to accept, but I am now completely confident it was God's will and it was out of my hands.

Sorry for the trip down memory lane. I actually rarely think about Anna. I still haven't developed the photos we took. Perhaps I've never fully grieved her, but it was such an awful experience, I keep a lot of those memories buried. Overall, I'm doing so much better and have really turned a corner. It's just when I analyze the situation, the pain really comes back. This is actually therapy of sorts since I haven't "talked" about this in years. Thanks for listening.

I love you, Anna. We all do. I know we'll be together again someday.

Extreme Makeover: Backyard Edition

Sigh. Okay, I can breathe now. My parents are both healthy right now (knock on wood) and all seems right with the world. I've been anxious to get back into my daily indulgences like blogging. And here's hoping we have a respite from any more drama... at least for now.

So here we go. Saturday, we were on the receiving end of a service project. Well, a service project that I initiated. It was more than obvious that John and I were never going to finish the Backyard from Hell clean-up on our own, so I enlisted the help of family. I felt stupid asking; it seems pretty pathetic to request service, but everyone was SO great and supportive. They were all so willing and thankful for the opportunity, which was very humbling. It was all really overwhelming and I got over my sheepishness, because I really just felt so grateful. We have the BEST family. My sister-in-law Libby said they should've taken a photo of everyone and put it on the cover of the Ensign since the group really was picture perfect of a family serving together.

With 11 adults and the help of 3 little kids, plus 4 hours of labor, our yard is looking fantastic! Doug built us a rock wall where the "graveyard" was. Libby finished painting the shed. Jimmy cleaned up the funk-us (as Katie calls the fungus) and chopped up/dug out the rest of the tree stump. Brandon, Jen, Beck, Geri, Kent, John and I all did a bunch of other projects. Katie and my little nephews, Ethan and James, raked and picked up walnuts. With everyone's help, it all really came together.



Of course, there was some craziness. This is me after all. Libby and I saw a kangaroo rat -- a rat that hopped towards us then finally ran away once Jimmy threw a rock at it. Jimmy and Libby decided to start digging out the tub even though John told them not to bother with it. They were persistent and enlisted Brandon, but it was finally my father-in-law Kent that came up with the brilliant solution of just sledgehammering the thing to death. Kent is BUFF for being almost 70 and went medieval on the tub. The other guys took turns and in about 20 minutes, the crazy steel tub was crushed up and gone! It's truly a Halloween miracle!!!! After 8 years, I'm finally rid of my totally random, creepy yard bathtub!!!







Later that afternoon after everyone had left, my brother-in-law Steve came over after work to help us out some more. I was clearing out some stuff and dug up a big piece of orange and red shag carpet that smelled SO nasty. Even though I'm constantly digging up weird stuff let me tell you, that was nothing. It finally happened. I predicted we would find a dead body in our yard thanks to all the crazy things we've been digging up. Early that morning, I found some weird bone that looked like a joint, but didn't really think much of it. But Steve started clearing out on the other end of the garage and dug up...wait for it....a cow skull! Complete with teeth! Yes, it was bound to happen. John is convinced that it was just a decorative skull that someone used, but I KNOW it's from a real cow that mozied into our yard, died, and then the freaky a-- tenants before me just decided to bury it in the yard like all the other whack stuff that's there. Last night, all I could dream about was cow skeletons and kangaroo rats!



So, this chapter of the yard clean-up is over. We still have more to do, but thanks to EVERYONE who helped, we're about 70% done!!!

Another Thursday, No Dish

So, my dad was in the E/R yesterday. They may as well get give us a suite at Alta View. He went into a diabetic shock/coma, but he got home late last night and is doing better. I am fried and can't possibly think of anything interesting to write. At least tonight is my favorite night of TV, so I can just veg and enjoy!

Circle of Life

I'm writing this post from a hospital room in Alta View Hospital. A rerun of Conference is in the background. We just had sacrament administered by the hospital branch bishopric. Jennie is doing a crossword puzzle. And we're waiting for my mom to pee. It's the circle of life, I tell you. I remember bringing Katie home from the hospital when she was a newborn and waiting impatiently for her to go to the bathroom. It seemed like everything was riding on how much she went or didn't go. And here I am doing the same for my aging mother. We just showered her and all of us joked about how she used to do this for us. God definitely knows how to make the playing field even. We'll all be in the same boat; our kids will be changing our diapers eventually. Elton John had it right.

Wednesday, Jennie and I brought my mom to the E/R. She has seemed off for weeks. But over Conference weekend, she started to really fade. She kept falling asleep and started getting loopy. Wednesday morning, she fell over. We were worried she suffered a stroke. Once in the E/R, the craziness began. Over the last few days, we've been told she might have kidney failure, thyroid tumors, bone cancer, other forms of cancer and other tumors. So, there have been tests and more tests, and waiting and more waiting. And eating. Man, you get tired of watching tv, surfing and reading, so you go to the cafeteria just for entertainment. I think I've gained 10 pounds while I've been here. Either Jimmy, Jennie or I have sitting with her and as tiresome as it gets for us, my poor mom has been going crazy. Yesterday, she said she was going home whether they liked it or not. I'd like to have seen that.

Fortunately, we're going home today. Hence the waiting for her to pee. It seems she has hypercalcimia (spelling?) which is due to taking in too much calcium which was causing her renal insufficiency. In plain English, she basically O.D.ed on her calcium supplements, wasn't eating enough to absorb it, and her kidneys stopped functioning. So, she's better enough to go home, but not completely out of the woods. She still needs to have some follow-up on her kidneys, diet etc.

It's so cliche to say, but it's really hard to see your parents age. My poor parents have really gotten more than their share of physical hardships. I hate to see them suffer. But for me, it's a mixed blessing. I don't know of a better opportunity to serve and give back then to help your parents when they need it the most: their geriatric years. John and I joke/complain a lot that we're both the George Baileys of our families. You know, George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life." We never get to move or "fulfill" our crazy dreams due to all of our familial responsibilities. We've given up a lot of opportunities to be close to home, but we've seen the blessings in return. It may or may not be a sacrifice, but truthfully, we're the ones that are rewarded.

When the branch presidency came in, they shared a quote from Richard Edgley which really says it all: "I rejoice in belonging to such a loving and caring organization as the Church. No one knows better how to bear one another's burdens, mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. I choose to call it 'enduring together.' What happens to one happens to all. We endure together. May we be an instrument in lightening the burdens of others."

No Dish Tomorrow

My sister and I, then later joined by my brother Jimmy, spent the day with my mom at Alta View Hospital. Her test results aren't back yet, so I'm not confident about what's going on. Anyway, I'm not feeling very dish-ish. More later...

I Heart October

October is definitely my favorite month. Here are my top 10 reasons why:

1. Halloween - the BEST holiday

2. Preparing for Halloween (decorating, getting costumes, parties) which is really more fun than the actual holiday

3. My anniversary

4. This year, NEW YORK CITY -- to celebrate said anniversary

5. General Conference

6. Fall leaves

7. Sweater weather -- and no, I don't dress up Bailey but how cute is that dog?

8. Oscar Season starts

9. UEA weekend - we're not going anywhere, but 3 days of sleeping in and not having to deal with the before school rush!

10. Lots of fun kids activities to take Katie to: Scarecrow Festival, Red Butte, Wheeler Farm etc.

Politics According to Robert Barone

Over the last few weeks, I keep thinking of this "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode where Robert is explaining to Ray why Marie likes him and Amy best. Using this math, I think we can figure out who's going to win this election.

I tried to find the exact quote, but basically, here's what he says: "If you take Mom's adoration of Raymond and subtract her hatred for Debra, divide it by her disappointment in me and multiply her love of Amy, then we are the couple she loves best."

I keep thinking how this "math" applies to the election. If the voter is the Marie then Obama is the Raymond; he can do no wrong. Hate is probably a strong way to describe how people feel about Biden, but I'd say the majority of people strongly dislike him, so he's the Debra. McCain is the Robert. For me, I've been disappointed. I was really excited about him back when he was running against Bush, but he's just not meeting my personal expectations. And then, Palin is the Amy. She's come in all sweet and bubbly, making McCain (Robert) look better.

So, according to that crazy theory, I think McCain/Palin will be the favorite "couple."

Oh... and if anyone remembers which episode this is, tell me! It's driving me crazy.

Jude's Thursday Dish

I'm hammered this week. Deadline and work has been exhausting, so I only have 4 items today. Hey... a girl can only do so much.

1. SO happy with "The Office" premiere. I laughed out loud probably 10 times. I love Holly and Michael together. That rap...hiLARious. And to toot my own horn, I called Ryan's storyline from the moment he got the job at coorporate. I predicted he'd screw up that job and have to come groveling back to the Scranton office. But to be Pam's replacement as receptionist...sublime! Speaking of PB&J, they're engaged! Sigh... I really Y this show!



2. Breaking up is hard to do. So, my casual TV show dating phase is over. I'm just too busy. I had high hopes of all the shows I wanted to watch this fall, but my poor lil' Tivo can't keep up and neither can I. Shows that have gotten the "it's not you, it's me" heave-ho are (and in no particular order):

- Dancing with the Stars: it's too much of a time commitment. How many nights is that show on anyway? 4? Well, it feels like it. It takes up too much Tivo space.

- Biggest Loser: Families: this is way entertaining, but I missed a couple of episodes, so I'm letting go.

- My Name is Earl: I used to love this show, but now... eh. That might be a good one to just watch online.

- 90210: I tried, Amelia... I really tried!

Right now, my Season Passes include Amazing Race, America's Next Top Model, Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, Gossip Girl, Pushing Daisies, Private Practice, Kath & Kim, 30 Rock and The Office. My sister is DVR-ing Grey's Anatomy for me to watch and John is totally into Heroes and I'm feeling left out. I want to get it down to watching one show a day, or in the case of 30-minuters, two. That means that I've got to do more cutting out. I'm feeling very "Bachelor"-ish debating who will get the final rose.

3. SAG is recommending a strike. Heaven help me.

4. I almost cried when I heard Paul Newman died. I know a lot of younger people only know him for his salad dressings and voicing Doc Hudson in "Cars", but he's SO much more. John adores "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and I think that will always epitomize him for me. But, my favorite part about him was his 50 year marriage to Joanne Woodward. It's amazing! When John and I got engaged, I was in San Francisco with Anne-Katherine. We stopped at a gift shop and there was a book on the great love stories of famous people. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward are on the cover. I bought it, then when I got home, I typed out mine and John's "great love story" and glued it into the book and gave it to him as an engagement gift. I'll always have a fondness in my heart for that couple.



My friend, Matt in D.C., always has these fabulous adventures. He is an actor and was touring with a production of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." At one of their shows, Newman and Woodward were in the audience with their grandkids. He got this great picture taken with them.

That's it for this week!